Stating The Obvious 0804 – Blind Date Episode III: Just Be Your Authentic Self. Women Love That. If You Cry In Front Of Her That Will Really Make Her Twat Wet.
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We are back to blind dating in Denver. Let the laughs begin.
What do the women who go on these blind dates do for work? By work I mean what sort of made up jobs do they have in order to avoid having to learn any time of useful skill set that creates value for other human.
Here is a list of the jobs held by the women who went on the blind dates.
Current job: I am on the marketing team for a cannabis brand.
Current job: I am a dispensary employee. I sell weed.
Current job: Dispensary Manager.
Current job: Venue director and private chef.
Current job: Publicist at Meow Wolf Denver.
No job listed. Chubby blonde white girl.
Law Student
Banker
Supply chain optimization lead
Facilities Coordinator at Google
Real Estate Investor | Airbnb Host
Current Job: Manager at Whole Foods.
Current Job: Marketing manager, small business owner and DJ.
Account Manager
Business Owner
Budtender at Native Roots
Works at REI
Ad Tech/Freelance
Lawyer
Digital marketing/coach
Manager
Current Job: Gymnastics coach and entertainer, but entertainer first. (she’s fat)
Current Job: Beer tender.
Current job: Make mods for video games.
Current job: Biomedical engineer.
Then we wrap up the date between Joseph and Haley. We will learn some of the many reasons why women can’t find a good man.
What was the best part of the date and why?
J: The best part of the date was getting to meet someone new, and gain experience learning about what I’m looking for in a potential partner.
H: The best part of the date was the food. The nachos were really good and the drinks were good. And he was nice.
. . . . .
Was there a goodnight kiss, hug, or exchange of numbers?
J: We exchanged numbers for the possibility of being friends and sharing all the cool places in and around Denver.
H: He asked for my number and I gave it to him. I have no intention of hanging out with him again but I gave him a hug and said goodbye.
Girls. Here is why we hate you.
1. The best part of the date to her was the food. Then the nachos. Then the drinks. The man came in 4th.
2. She gave him her number with no intention of ever responding to him. That’s called lying. She can’t simply tell him the truth and say she is not interested in seeing him again. She has to mislead him. That’s called lying.
Remember boys. You don’t owe women the truth. Every. Women will lie to you every chance they get. Lie to them when it’s to your advantage. You own them nothing.
Other than the back of your hand across her face.
Next up we go on a new blind date. This time between a fat black women and a white plumber. Here is some foreshadowing. This is not going to go the way you expect it to. It didn’t go the way I was expecting it to go.
Name: Ru
Current job: Publicist at Meow Wolf Denver.
Why are you going on Rooster’s Blind Date? Because I am interested in new experiences with new people, and I am interested in reclaiming some part of me that has been lost to the unknown.
What’s a good way to win you over: Laughter, sweetness and affection.
Most irrational fear: Eggs. Any egg. Particularly runny eggs, scrambled eggs, cooked eggs. I once broke up with a guy after seeing how he ate eggs.
What’s your greatest strength: Communication.
Never have I ever: Eaten an egg. My mother said she knew I didn’t like them because I would hide them behind the couch.
One thing about you no one would believe: That I’m shy.
Do you want kids? No. I have one million nieces and nephews that I love.
What do you geek out on? Astrology.
Immediately red flags: If they were rude or if they have bad manners. The bad manners is the first red flag.
Immediate green flags: Smiles, warmth, charisma.
One thing you can’t live without? Burt’s Bees Chapstick.
Why did your last relationship end? I’m perpetually in love all the time, and my love evolved.
Biggest date fail: I went to the wrong place one time. I could not get it together with where I was supposed to be so the date didn’t happen. I just went home at that point.
Celebrity crush: Idirs Elba. I also think that Damian Lillard is very hot. I also think that Bradley Cooper is very hot. Also George Clooney is OG hot.
Guilty pleasure: Smoking weed and watching Anderson Cooper. With a side of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
Name: Scott
Current job: Plumber.
Why are you going on Rooster’s Blind Date? I was curious about the experience. I’m really looking to have fun.
What’s a good way to win you over: Listening to me.
Most irrational fear: Leaf blowers. I can’t stand them. Maybe it’s not a fear, but the noise, the smell. I can’t even stand them. What were they thinking when they made them? You’re just going to blow everything over here, and tomorrow it’s going to be windy and it’s going to blow right back! Oh my god. Don’t even get me started on them.
What’s your greatest strength: I really value friendship and I really try to be a good friend and be a person who people would consider to be a good friend.
Never have I ever: I’ve never been to Meow Wolf ever. And I’ve never been to Casa Bonita.
One thing about you no one would believe: Where I’m from. I don’t fit that mold. I fit the Boulder look and vibe, and it just does not fit with where I’m from. Its polar opposites.
Do you want kids? Yes. My parents had kids so they could have little workers. I want my own little army.
What do you geek out on? Coloring. And being creative. I’ve started experimenting with drawing really colorful people with a normal environment in the background.
Immediate red flags: If they listen to Björk. I’m not into cats. My allergies can’t take it. And cigarette smokers.
Immediate green flags: If they make the first move. Like if they approach me or any kind of forward attention.
One thing you can’t live without? My ability to ride my single speed bike. Man, it’s like a drug hauling ass.
Why did your last relationship end? What do you say when you want something to go somewhere, but the other person isn’t into you? Maybe it was incompatibility. I didn’t really explore it. It was just over. If it’s not right, it’s not right. I try not to take it personally, but it was something I was disappointed by.
Biggest date fail: Aw shit man. One time I went on a date and she got really drunk. To the point that she got sick, her friend had to come get her. Her friends looking at me like I fed her alcohol or something. But she just got drunk. It was messy.
Celebrity crush: Kristen Stewart. She’s really shiny and catches your attention. And Krysten Ritter, and the girl from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Kristen Bell. Oh shit… they are all Kristen’s.
Guilty pleasure: I like coloring. I used to love the shit outta kombucha, but I stopped doing that because of all the sugar. I really like to smoke weed, listen to talk radio and play pool on my phone.
https://therooster.com/articles/sips-with-a-z-inside-meow-wolf/
Hey Scott. Have you considered steaming the fucking wrinkles out of your shirt? Yea it’s a blind date but what if you put some level of effort into it.
She’s got a thing against eggs. Like a white woman. Soon as any white woman gets one of her eggs fertilized she can’t wait to scramble it.
Scott gets off to a good start when he comes out as a Leaf Blower Truther. There is nothing more boomer than leaf blowers.
There’s a lotta dope smoking going on. It’s not gonna stop any time soon.
We’ll get started on the blind date and find ourselves starting to wonder what the fuck is going on here?
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They are in the right position.
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Joseph didn’t bring the “Pow! Pow! Pow!” or multiple felonies to the table. So, no 2nd date for him.