RIP Bathroom Spider

My long time loyal listeners, all seven of them, who are all men (we know that because only men are capable of loyalty – womynz divorce rape you the moment they don’t feelz happy) might be wondering what happened to Bathroom Spider.

Bathroom Spider for those of you not in the know was a spider who lived in my bathroom in The People’s Republic of Fort Collins. Bathroom Spider snagged a number of insects on his own. I also kept him feed when the natural prey vanished. He did too good a job of cleaning out the bugs in my apartment.

My plan was to catch Bathroom Spider in a big jar and bring him to South Dakota with me. However I put this off one time too many. I went up to South Dakota for what was suppose to be two weeks and I was going to put Bathroom Spider into his new home upon my return. Two weeks turned into three weeks and when I got back to Fort Collins (The People’s Republic of) I found that another spider had come along, killed Bathromm Spider, and taken over his web.

Needless to say I was (yes, I’m serious) sad and pissed. Had I gotten him relocated before leaving Bathroom Spider would still be alive. You may say “it was only a spider.” No. Bathroom Spider was my spider. He killed bugs in my home and I took care of him. That’s called loyalty. You can get that from dogs and spiders. You can’t get it from womynz.

Here are some photos of Bathroom Spider entangling and feeding on a worm I gave him.

May you rest in peace Bathroom Spider. I will long regret failing to save your life.